The Barricklows: October 2014

Somehow, we ended up with THAT baby. You know which one I'm talking about, THAT one. The one who can't be set down. Ever. Without a meltdown of historic proportions. 4th kid...go figure. There's a spectrum for this, on one end the "ignoring the needs of your child who's hysterically screaming" as opposed to the "maybe it's the Mommy that has the attachment problems" end. The difficulty is balancing the needs of the child with what's best for the child, especially when they don't align. I'm not saying that holding a child too much is the end of the world...but right now, it kind of feels like it!

I've figured it out though. Logically of course. The answer, as usual, I've only done this to myself. See for yourself!

Here's the "what did you think would happen?!" column:

-We leave the house most mornings, so when we are out, she's either in the nursery with women who can't wait to spoil babies, or in her car seat, or in my arms. If we're not somewhere with childcare we're usually at the park...no way she's getting set down since I have to chase 3 others, or at the store...carrier or car seat again. So since her morning nap is usually on the go (I have followed a VERY liberal translation of Baby Wise this time around--but she's been sleeping thru the night since March so I still call it 4 for 4 with Baby Wise!) she's miserably exhausted when we get home. Who's going to put that girl down!?

-When we are home and she's awake, and not eating--she's on the floor (with no shortage of entertainment I might add) she's crying. And following me around crying. And honestly, I can only handle so much noise.

-I CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH NOISE. Crying I can tune out, hysterics- whole different story.

Here's the "cut my self some slack" column:

-She'll grow out of it.

-We just got back from vacation-that always exacerbates bad behavior. Entertainment detox and catching up on lack of sleep takes time.

-I haven't set her up for success on this one, it's not miserable (most of the time), and I'm pretty good at doing things one-handed...HA!
-Even Renae will pick Jordan up and bring her to me saying "Mommy, she's crying for you". "She just wants you a lot." A 4 year old can pick up her needs. :)

Here's the "this is true but not helpful" column:

-She's the last baby- you'll never have this baby stage again.

-Time goes so quickly, in a few years you'll wish you had more time to hold your baby.

-She's at the right age for separation anxiety.

-Be flattered! She loves her Mama!

There are two things about parenting that I know without a doubt are true. I've said them hundreds of times:

1. I'm convinced the point of parenting it to cause you to say "I don't know what to do" at least once a day. This is a MAIN POINT in parenting...to turn us to the Lord who MADE our child, and asking Him to guide us and give us insight into His creation. ;)

2. Our children are much better students of us, than we will ever be of them. (read that again.) We spend every day trying to figure them out...and you KNOW they have us pegged. Which button to push, how much whining will do it, what embarrasses us, which parent to ask, what we love to hear, what we think is funny, when we mean business, when we don't...they KNOW IT ALL.

So as we embark on the walking the fine line of it's good for you to play, and you're ok without Mommy sometimes...this weekend and all future days, pray for us :) we need it. HA!