I'm not sure I should say this out loud, but there is something I really like about Josh that I've never admitted before. Most of you know just how much he enjoys sweets, but the fact that sometimes I am so astonished at stories or experiencing incredible dessert feats with him I just can't stop laughing in disbelief...is something I kinda of enjoy. That is probably something I'll regret admitting in public. He does not seem to have a limit. There is no "too rich", "too sweet", "too full".
I try as hard as I can to help him make better decisions...and most of the time I am successful- he has gotten much better! The biggest help is that now that he really enjoys running and training for longer distance races, he can tell when he hasn't been eating so well. The closest I came to a successful moderation campaign was the few weeks I had Josh convinced that if he wasn't more careful about sweets he would develop a form of diabetes. (Since he was running 20-30 miles a week at the time I knew this was false, but he didn't). It worked for awhile till I had him so worried he started doing his own research and discovered the truth. It was pretty funny.
Well, I wanted to share with you, some of my most favorite stories about Josh's stomach. I've laughed so hard I've cried so many times listening to him, or others tell me about the experiences I wasn't around for, and the same for the ones I've personally witnessed. And, as hard as it may be to believe, all of these are true. I hope you enjoy Installment #1 of That Boy Loves Sweets! In no particular order...
Actually I just glanced at my list and noticed there are themes here, so today's theme will be....While the Wife was Out/What Happens in the Iraq...Stays in Iraq.
--When Josh was deployed, I think it was month 13 (after the second Christmas) there was a container of frosting sitting in the office mini-fridge towards the back, that had been there since Christmas. I believe it was vanilla. After being tempted for several weeks, Josh finally asked if someone was planning on using said container of frosting. Receiving unanimous 'No's' he grabbed a spoon, and that was his lunch. When asked to estimate how much he ate... "17 Tbsp" was the answer.
--Around this same time, Josh began training for the Lincoln half marathon he wanted to run when he came home. In typical Josh form, he started an Excel spreadsheet listing every thing he was eating, along with the approximate amount. (I say approximate but in typical Josh form, it was probably exact). He started emailing me his spreadsheet at the end of each month so I could see what he was eating. January: 42 1/2 cups of ice cream, 60 Tbsp of Peanut Butter, 17 Tbsp of Vanilla Frosting, 43 1/2 cups of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, 41 Creme Sandwich Cookies, 34 Graham Crackers, 24 Granola Bars, 54 1/4 cups Honey Nut Cheerios, 5 large assorted Otis Spunkmeier cookies, and 1 Tootsie Roll. ((This is not a conclusive list of all things with a high sugar content)). I could no stop laughing. Can't you just see him! :)
--My brother, Evan, was studying abroad in Brazil during the 1st half of Josh's deployment, so my sister, Martha, sent them both Girl Scout Cookies. She bought 4 boxes of different kinds and switched the sleeves of cookies around so they would each receive 4 assorted flavors, in 2 boxes. We got to talk to Evan awhile after that and he said it took him about 2 weeks to eat his. Josh....45 minutes.
--Before we were married, Josh was stationed at Ft. Leavenworth about 3 months before I got there, on the weekends, he would drive from Kansas City to Lincoln so we could go to our Pre-Marriage classes. I wasn't really aware of this until after maybe a month or so, but he would stop at Sam's club on the way out of Lincoln and buy a package of cookies (2 dozen in a box) found in their bakery section. Maybe you know what I'm talking about, but these cookies are not small. Oatmeal raisin and Monster Cookies are his favorite. He would eat 12 or so on the way home, and the rest the next day.
--That October, we were getting ready for Halloween, and I bought a jumbo bag of individual packs of Peanut M&M's to hand out as treats. As the day grew closer, I mentioned to Josh how excited I was to have kids come to our door and how fun that would be. He didn't answer. I knew immediately. "Did you eat some of the candy?", I asked... the response "It's gone.". "So, even though you had to open each individual bag before eating it you still finished all of it?". "Yes"
--Then comes one of my favorite stories. Last summer I went to WI to visit some friends from Summer Project. I was gone for 3 days. The first night for supper, after I had mentioned he should try to eat some veggies....Josh ate an entire bag of frozen corn for supper. Then, a week or so after I was back, we were at the grocery store and I remembered I had wanted to try a recipe for homemade Ice Cream Sandwiches. I went to go pick up chocolate graham crackers and made some off-hand comment about how I had intended to make them awhile ago. Conversation is as follows:
"We don't have any cool whip."
"Oh yes we do, I bought it awhile ago, I just hadn't got around to making this yet."
"We don't have any cool whip."
"Yes, we do. I bought it forever ago and it's in the back of the freezer"...(it now starts to dawn on me, I turn around from my graham crackers selection), "...wait, are you serious? Did you eat it?!"
It was one of those moments where you want to be angry but you can't help from laughing!! So while I was gone he ate an entire container of cool whip and a bag of corn (there was more I'm sure...but really what more do you need).
--Last one in this category, when Josh was at an Army school....Basic or Officer School I forget which one (before we were even engaged) they had to assist with a fundraiser. What were they selling?! Krispy Kreme donuts. Not good. Josh ATE 18. In 2 hours. I don't know how many he sold.
Stay Tuned for: When I Was Little
and The College Years
