Let's Get Real

Somehow, we ended up with THAT baby.  You know which one I'm talking about, THAT one.  The one who can't be set down.  Ever. Without a meltdown of historic proportions. 4th kid...go figure.  There's a spectrum for this, on one end the "ignoring the needs of your child who's hysterically screaming" as opposed to the "maybe it's the Mommy that has the attachment problems" end.  The difficulty is balancing the needs of the child with what's best for the child, especially when they don't align.  I'm not saying that holding a child too much is the end of the world...but right now, it kind of feels like it!

I've figured it out though.  Logically of course.  The answer, as usual, I've only done this to myself.  See for yourself!

Here's the "what did you think would happen?!" column:

-We leave the house most mornings, so when we are out, she's either in the nursery with women who can't wait to spoil babies, or in her car seat, or in my arms.  If we're not somewhere with childcare we're usually at the park...no way she's getting set down since I have to chase 3 others, or at the store...carrier or car seat again.  So since her morning nap is usually on the go (I have followed a VERY liberal translation of Baby Wise this time around--but she's been sleeping thru the night since March so I still call it 4 for 4 with Baby Wise!) she's miserably exhausted when we get home.  Who's going to put that girl down!?

-When we are home and she's awake, and not eating--she's on the floor (with no shortage of entertainment I might add) she's crying. And following me around crying. And honestly, I can only handle so much noise.

-I CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH NOISE.  Crying I can tune out, hysterics- whole different story.

Here's the "cut my self some slack" column:

-She'll grow out of it.

-We just got back from vacation-that always exacerbates bad behavior.  Entertainment detox and catching up on lack of sleep takes time.

-I haven't set her up for success on this one, it's not miserable (most of the time), and I'm pretty good at doing things one-handed...HA!
-Even Renae will pick Jordan up and bring her to me saying "Mommy, she's crying for you".  "She just wants you a lot."  A 4 year old can pick up her needs. :)

Here's the "this is true but not helpful" column:

-She's the last baby- you'll never have this baby stage again.

-Time goes so quickly, in a few years you'll wish you had more time to hold your baby.

-She's at the right age for separation anxiety.  

-Be flattered!  She loves her Mama!

There are two things about parenting that I know without a doubt are true.  I've said them hundreds of times:

1.  I'm convinced the point of parenting it to cause you to say "I don't know what to do" at least once a day.  This is a MAIN POINT in parenting...to turn us to the Lord who MADE our child, and asking Him to guide us and give us insight into His creation. ;)

2.  Our children are much better students of us, than we will ever be of them.  (read that again.)  We spend every day trying to figure them out...and you KNOW they have us pegged.  Which button to push, how much whining will do it, what embarrasses us, which parent to ask, what we love to hear, what we think is funny, when we mean business, when we don't...they KNOW IT ALL.

So as we embark on the walking the fine line of it's good for you to play, and you're ok without Mommy sometimes...this weekend and all future days, pray for us :)  we need it.  HA!

(and yes, that's my cold pizza...because my child would not wait.  I'm only mostly ok with that)

Summer Musings (<-not my favorite word)

Since it is August 1st and fall schedules begin...here are a few fun moments from our summer (well, thus far...because as you all know, in Savannah, summer lasts thru October).

We have not been to the beach!  Not even once!  We went several times in April, but have not been back since then.  We have, however, been in our back yard pools A LOT.  We are all tan.  VERY.  And our hair is blond. ER.  It amazes me how the kids' skin is all different.  Baby skin like Jordan's gets red after about .4 minutes of sun exposure.  Noah, Jack, and Renae get the same lathering (*another not favorite word) of sunscreen and the boys are MUCH more tan than Renae and I.  I usually tan really well, though I’m noticing that the older I get as the summers go passed, I tan less and less.

 

Renae is getting more comfortable in the water.  She can swim short distances, though it takes some coaxing (*another one…sheesh!  Post Rename: Using words I don’t like).  Jack would much rather stay OUT of the water and dump water out of a bucket instead.  Noah would love to independently swim except that he can’t quite grasp how to stay upright with his arm floaties on. Hahaha!  He just ends up rolling around and coughing quite a bit.  But he does like to jump off the side.  Over and over. Well, when you least expect it (I guess he’s not that dependable, I mean he is 1), he will stand there ready to jump, then slowly back away….juuuuuust out of reach when you lunge towards the wall, then BOLT some direction leaving you frantically pleading for him to not drown  not run  not eat whatever snack he just picked up  come back.

Jack's 3rd birthday in June brought on a whole slew (*that one is iffy) of funny conversations.  My favorite one goes something like this:

R:  I can't wait til I'm 6!

J:  I'm 3.  But I'm 4 next!

R:  Jack, when you're done being 4, you'll be 6 after 5!

J:  Mommy!!!  I'm almost 6!!!

This loses a lot without hearing the cute teeny excited voices that have their own special way of saying words.  I wish I could record their conversations (please someone invent something that can instantly record the last 30 seconds of sound around you) because it's hilarious.

Noah loves to sing.  LOVES it.  He will try any song he hears. And then it's on repeat.  This feat has made for some very cute car trips.

Speaking of...we just journeyed 20 hours to Nebraska and 20 hours back.  Josh and I feel privileged to have entered the "Are we there yet?" part of parenting. In southern Missouri we were driving on a one-lane country road and Renae was introduced to hills and dips in the road that make your stomach drop.  She called them 'tummy bumps'.  It was a fun and beautiful part of our drive!

We had such a great time throwing a surprise 60th birthday party for my Dad.  It wasn't too hard to surprise him since his birthday was 2 months earlier.  HA!  It really was a great party.  And a fabulous trip!

We also went to Orlando for a week in June.  The highlight of that trip was swimming 5-7 hours a day and getting rained out at SeaWorld.  Renae still talks about seeing Shamu....she totally didn't. Every animal was hidden away in thunderstorm safety. We went to Columbia, SC to go to the Riverbanks Zoo with some friends which was a great day trip.  We went to Atlanta for Josh to run the PeachTree Road Race and spend time with some great friends.

All of those events have been really great for Josh and I in a long season (*yet another one, I’m weird I know) of Army-induced unknown and stress.  This whole situation is another story for another blog, but our trips have served to be God ordained for several reasons.  We have been able to break up the monotony of waiting for more answers.  We have found ourselves in the presence of great friends when we’ve heard the worst news. And most importantly God has used these trips as an encouragement to us.  We have received great advice, guidance, prayer, and encouragement from incredible people.  Friends and family who have pointed us to Jesus and helped us process discouragement and disappointment.  We’ve been prayed for, encouraged, and motivated to continue on this really fun journey of Army Downsizing!

Overall, this summer went really quickly!  It's been wonderfully hot.  It's been full of friends, new and old. Family new, and old.  [HAHAHA.  Love you guys :)].  It's been hard, tiring, and that part is not close to over, but it's still been good.

Ways you can pray for us:

1.  Applying for jobs!!

2.  Josh finishing up his Masters (Army schooling results in nearly half the required credits!) starting in just a few weeks. Full time job, four kids, a frazzled wife, and masters classes…

3.  Figuring out which kids to move in together so that Jordan can get into an actual crib.  **She has to this point been sleeping in a pack and play in our closet.  :)  Smashed between a hanging shoe rack and Dress Blues.  If you know how Jack sleeps you understand why this is a complicated decision.  He likes to throw a wrench in things.  Right now it's looking like Renae and Noah will be roomies :)

 4.  Our fall schedule is filling up!  Pray for discernment for how many weekly activities to sign up for, and that I adjust well to having 2 students in Miss Mommy's Pre-K :)

I’ll leave you with this gem:

Noah plays with these headbands all day.  And about 30 jelly bracelets.  He tries to put the headbands on anyone who will sit still long enough.  This picture was ALL him.  He put them on people and looked at me and said "cheeeese?"  hahaha He's so excited!!

This girl.

Jordan:  7 mo old.  15lbs 9oz.  So sweet!

Can't believe just 7 months ago she was a 3lb 'healthy' preemie.  What a sweet girl!  We all love her so so much!

4.

Well.  It's been awhile.  It's really incredible how weird time is.  The days can be painstakingly long (I've actually tried to count the number of times I can sit down in a day ((**not counting to feed a baby or change a diaper)) and then given up because I realized I actually didn't want to know) and then at the same time, I call a friend and realize it actually took me 2 weeks to call them back....or I look at my calendar and realize that it's actually Thursday not Monday and I've lost a few days.

Life with 4 is not too shabby though.  Just busy and requiring more energy than I have. HA!  Still enjoy it.  Wouldn't change it!  Here's a few bullets about life lately (because that's all the time I have)

-Jordan is 5 months old.  13 lbs.  We grow 'em up quick here.  I can hardly believe this is the same 3 lb baby I held just a few months ago!  She loves to smile, and be held sitting up, and she loves her sleep...girl will TELL YOU (read: scream hysterically) if she is tired.  God gave me a big gift with a premie as a last baby because I'm getting a little extra time while she is behind...all the things she "can't do" yet. What a difference from baby #1 where as a parent you are freaking out if your child can't sit up or Johnny down the street rolls over first....haha.  I love that Jordan doesn't roll over yet, still has a hard time holding her head all the time, and doesn't belly laugh, or play with toys.  She can't scoot or pinch you like other babies her age.  But then technically she is really only supposed to be 3 months old so what she can do is totally normal.  We are not worried :)  God has given me a gift, in a time of life where I blink and two days go by.  She.Is.So.Cute!

-Noah.  That boy is a light in my day.  (Except right before meals hahaha).  He is so sweet.  He's 18 months old.  The phase where he backs in to your lap with a book about 47 times each day.  If he needs you he's running full speed into your legs and holding on for dear life.  He's amazed at his own ability to walk backwards and it's so funny.  He's learning more words, trys to sing in the car, and Renae and Jack are starting to let him play with them a little more each day.  Two words: THIRTY POUNDS.  Yep.  He is so tall and tough!  I've been trying and trying to teach him to give actual kisses instead of the great open mouth slobbers that babies give...can't do it.  AND, after bath time every night when I'm getting him ready for bed we play hide and seek, only instead of covering his eyes he uses both hands to cover his mouth.  It's so funny.  I need to get it on video because I love it and it's so sweet.

-Jack loves outside.  And I'm telling you he can't get enough.  It's really been hot the last couple weeks (in the high 90s the last few days!) and he does not care.  The second he wakes up, "Can we play outside?".  He asks me constantly.  I'm pretty sure Jack is at least a year ahead of his age group verbally.  There is virtually no difference in talking to him or Renae and they are 17 months apart.  The kid sounds so old!  I realized the other day I only have a little while longer till I can't say he's cute and adorable anymore.  Jack is my snuggly-est kid.  He comes and asks me if he can sit on my lap or next to me or tells me he loves me out of the blue (**only while we're inside...outside I'm basically invisible).  Also Jack is the epitome of 2 year old emotional roller coaster.  But it's so helpful.  I have leveraged this fact to my benefit many a time.  If I'm feeling frazzled or frustrated, all I have to do is make a silly face at Jack or tickle him and he is laughing the cutest most infectious laugh.  He's wonderful :)

-Renae is a GODSEND.  Well, all the kids are, but really, God knew what He was doing when He sent her first.  She helps me so much.  SO much.  And she loves it.  She can do laundry, sort, start, change it, fold it, put it away....she knows it all.  She can do dishes, (well the ones she can reach).  She helps me cook.  She helps clean.  She wishes she could change diapers (asks me all the time) but I told her she can just wait to learn that skill.  Renae and I have been doing 'school' work for the passed several months.  Everyday we spend 15-20 minutes on a certain topic.  Mondays: letters and sounds; Tuesdays: math/shapes and numbers; Wednesdays: time, money, seasons, misc.; Thursdays: writing; Fridays: Bible verses.  She loves school and is pretty excited about her different activities she gets to do without the boys.  She still takes a nap which is another gift from God so we put the boys down for a nap, do some school, and then she naps while I soak in the quiet...or feed and spend time with Jordan.

-Josh and I :)  We are still feeling the tension of not knowing what our future is going to look like.  We have one more Army option to try...well technically 3 but one we are not interested in and the 2nd we almost 100% know the outcome to.  So we are playing the waiting game.  We've got a LOT of Army 'fun' on our plate right now.  So between that and the kids (the insanely high effort phase but high reward) our conversations are almost always a bit stressful with a hint of overwhelming.  But, God is good.  And He has shown Himself to be so faithful to us.  We are just waiting to see our future.  This week Josh is back wearing his "General's Aide" hat.  It's been a bit of a shock to the system to be back to those crazy work hours but its only a week and he got to ride in a helicopter so that always makes it worth it. Ha!  Also, we are a week out from our 8th wedding anniversary.  That's crazy!  We are excited for our date night!  We are also loving our church and the people God has put around us, once again God has given us a gift for such a time as this!

Dedicating Jordan!

Do you promise to pray for and with this child for her growth in knowledge of God and the spiritual life? "We do" 
Do you promise to train this child in body, mind and soul for fellowship with God and service to God? 
"We do"
Do you promise to do all you can to lead her at the proper age to confess her faith in Christ? 
"We do" 
Do you promise to provide a home characterized by unconditional love and encouragement and godly discipline where your child can develop character and confidence? 
"We do" 
Do you promise to build a strong marriage, loving and respecting your spouse, so that if your child imitates your example she will become a God-honoring spouse? 
"We do"

The Highlights:

Josh and I:
-anticipating news of what's next for us in the Army...lists come out in 3 weeks or so!
-really really enjoying our family, everyone is at such a fun age :)
-loving Savannah weather, the trees are starting to bud and the tulip trees are blooming

Renae:
-learning people's names and doing something fun with them is her new thing. She'll come home from church with names of these kids and stories about silly faces they made, or games they played.
-loves math. if it's a math game, she wants to do it. Count, sorting/categorizing, shapes, adding she's pretty good!
-she loves her chores (I know this phase of life is short-HA!) she clears the table, and gets the mail, and helps me with laundry
-always good for a hilarious one-liner. You never know what she's going to say.

Jack:
-one of his favorite people is his Sunday School teacher. He copies everything he does, the way he talks, his facial expressions--it's crazy! Just goes to show how much of an impact you can have on a child (even when they're only 2!)
-if you ask Jack how old he is, he will always say 3. "No, Jack, you're 2" goes in one ear and out the other. HA
-if something has wheels Jack wants to know what it is. And then he wants find a small version of it and play with it. He will roll his cars around and talk to them for hours. 

Noah:
-learning new words everyday! Mommy, Daddy, Nae, Jack, Jordan (Dordo-hahaha), baby, all done, amen, byebye, night night, please, I did it, bath so cute listening to them copy sounds.
-speaking of, Noah is a sound copier. You can hum a few notes any way you want to and he will try his hardest to repeat it back. He copies sirens, songs, words, crying...he tries to mimic it all.
-he is QUICK! Even with only 1 month of walking under his belt, he is very fast. The fact that he's 16 months old (today!) doesn't hurt anything in the coordination department.
-he is so smiley. So very quick to smile and show that adorable gap between his front teeth! I love it! :)
-learning body parts! So far he's got tummy, belly button, and mouth down. Eyes, nose, and ears are close.

Jordan:
-growing growing! 8 lbs 11 oz yesterday at her appointment, 20 3/4th inches long.
-she's now 2 weeks past her due date and already doing well in her gross motor skills development.
-today she looked AT me! This is so neat because a lot of premies have retina development problems, it's pretty common. She has a referral to an ophthalmologist because she really never looks at anything. She will look a direction, but her eyes wouldn't practice focusing, or stay on the source of what she was looking for--kind of like the dazed/glazed over look. But, today I had her facing me and she stared right in my eyes--first time! It's fun to see her learning how to interact!
-AND, SHE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! The last two nights she has slept from 10 to 6, and 10 to 7!! Yay!

Check back for pictures and more fun to come!

A NEW YEAR!

Well, the last time I posted (Nov 6th), I had no idea that in 6 short days our lives were going to be drastically changed. I plan on posting Jordan's story here soon, and back-dating it to fill the gap. So look out for that! Funny stuff of late: Renae called Jack "Sparky" When driving passed where we get our hair cut, Renae told Josh that's where she got her bottom hair cut. HA! (She was holding up her hair and pointing at the ends..."It used to be right here, Daddy!") Noah says a few words on purpose now. He says Bye Bye, All Done, Baby Dorda (Jordan), 'Nae (Renae), and Please. We spent last Saturday morning watching home videos...hilarious! Wish it was easier to share them with you! Two weeks ago our friend that runs the 2's Sunday School class told Josh (who works across the hall with the 3's) "come look at your son". Josh goes over there and Jack is sitting in a chair with his feet propped up on the table with a book in his lap. Every so often he would tilt his head and then turn the page. HAHA!